Hurt
by Phia the Ducati Chick
Summary: Twilight never happened, Jesse has moved onto his past life leaving Suze confused, upset and slightly angry. Oneshot and songfic. Song is Christina Aguilera’s Hurt from her album Back to Basics.


**Twilight never happened, Jesse has moved onto his past life leaving Suze confused, upset and slightly angry. **

**Oneshot and songfic. **

**Song is Christina Aguilera's Hurt from her album Back to Basics.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mediator series on the song used in the fic.**

Hurt

1 week earlier:

"I love you Jesse", Suze said as she rested her forehead on Jesse's faintly glowing one. They were both recovering from a very interesting kissing session; they were both breathing together, which Suze found slightly strange as Jesse didn't need to breath.

"I love you too Susannah, but I really have to go and see Father Dominic now, I was supposed to be there five minutes ago!"

They kissed the most pure kiss, one that should never have ended so soon. A bright light from the ceiling burst upon Jesse and it was as if a hand was pulling him up through the bright light. Suze had seen this enough times to know what was happening, Jesse was moving on, selfishly she tried to grab hold of Jesse's hand, but it was too late, he gently faded away with the light, leaving Suze heartbroken and alone.

She walked away from where Jesse had stood and tried not to look back.

Present day:

It was 3am, yet another restless, sleepless night for Suze Simon; she hadn't slept since Jesse had left. She felt alone and extremely vulnerable. She sat in the dark on her window seat, placing herself so she could look out at the view, tears ran silvery streams down her flawless skin and dripped onto her already tear stained teddy, it had been a gift from Jesse, the only thing she had left from him, the only thing she could remember him by, except her memory, he would always be alive there.

Suze got up and switched the radio on, just seeking the comfort of a voice that wasn't familiar.

A song that was unfamiliar to her started playing so she sat back down on the window seat, seeking comfort from the cool breeze coming in from her open window. She looked up into the dark sky with the bright, bright stars. Bright like the light. Suze snapped back into focus just to hear the vocal part of the song start to play.

_Seems like yesterday when I saw your face_

_You told me how proud you were, but I walked away_

_If only you knew what I know today_

_Ooh, ooh._

The first line got Suze hooked, and realised just how sad she was, it was a week ago that day, the oh so happy day when she told Jesse that she loved him and he told her he loved her too, but that oh so awful day when he was taken so cruelly from her.

_I would hold you in my arms_

_I would take the pain away_

_Thank you for all you've done_

_Forgive all your mistakes_

That's what Jesse did every time she screwed up, whenever she was hurt, he was there for her, he taught her how to love, how to care and loved her. She remembered that day when she first arrived at Carmel, when she walked into her new room, and there was Jesse, this gorgeous Latino hottie and she fell in love with him then, but now he was gone, she would never look into those dark chocolate eyes, she would never feel the hardness of is muscles, she would never feel his kiss ever again.

_There's nothing I wouldn't do _

_To hear your voice again_

_Sometimes I wanna call you_

_But I know you won't be there_

_Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

It was Jesse's fault, if he hadn't given her that last kiss he would still be here. 'No Suze, shut up, it's NOT Jesse's fault' she thought to herself, hurting every time she relived that moment.

_Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit_

_Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss_

_And it's so hard to say goodbye_

_When it comes to this, oooh_

_Would you tell me I was wrong?_

_Would you help me understand?_

_Are you looking down upon me?_

_Are you proud of who I am?_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To have just one more chance_

_To look into your eyes_

_And see you looking back_

_Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself, ohh_

_If I had just one more day_

_I would tell you how much that I've missed you_

_Since you've been away_

_Ooh, it's dangerous_

_It's so out of line_

_To try and turn back time_

_I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

The song ended and Suze had stopped crying, she recited the lyrics of the song over and over in her head, thinking

Something clicked in her head and she knew she had to do something to save Jesse; she just didn't quite know how, except that it was risky and would go against everything she had been fighting for the past year.

But she had to save Jesse and the only way she could do that …….

Was through Paul.

**Okay, so I'm trying to plan a sequel to this, but not quite sure how to do it yet!**

**Please review**

**Phia x**


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